Tag Archives: Rolls Royce

This Rolls-Royce Has Quite Nice Paint.

By Tim Smith

Rolls-Royce have made another special edition with some extra bits and some quite nice paint. Oh, and the promotion video has some inspirational music.

RR Waterspeed Hero H34_V9_16x9crop

When I was a boy of nine, or there about’s, my Mum and Dad had a Citroen BX. Now, aside from the all of the pneumatic trickery (which, when you’re about nine, is possibly the most excellent thing a car can have. Well, apart from five turbo’s or something) it was a ‘Leader’ special edition. It had all stickers on the side saying ‘Leader’, in case you were phoning your insurance company and you forgot what type of car it is. At least I assume that’s why people put there car’s model name in big letters down the doors or wings or bonnet.

RR Waterspeed_Door Etching_16x9crop

I guess it must have had some special electric windows or some dealer fit carpets or something, because this car was clearly built to lead. Not like those Cavaliers that were good at nothing at all apart from having the cool badge designation of CD or, even better, CDX.

RR Waterspeed hero Side_V9_16x9crop

Never, though, did the BX try to evoke a great or powerful achievement of a man or woman from the past. Those who put it together knew it was just a mass market car, and although they did a fine job of making it distinctive and interesting, when the marketing men and women got hold of it they didn’t think,

‘I know, let’s call it the BX Bonaparte, or Descartes or Hugo or Satre or something. Anything, to make us look like we’re doing something that means more than just a car. I mean merde, these people are paying MONEY for this stuff. We’d better make them think they’re taking part in an event’. 

Or maybe they did. But then the eighties were quite… cokey… if you know what I mean.

All of this brings us to the Rolls-Royce Phantom Drop-Head Coupe Waterspeed Collection. Which is a thing.

RR Waterspeed_Interior-Dash_16x9crop

A cool looking thing, that is a Rolls-Royce Phantom Drop-Head Coupe, which is a good thing,  but it’s still essentially Rolls-Royce Phantom Drop-Head Coupe, only this time, with some makeup on.  Some blue makeup.

Remember those anodised valve caps you could get for motorbikes? Yeah, them.

Remember those anodised valve caps you could get for motorbikes? Yeah, them.

 

Here’s an overblown video for your eyeholes:

 

 

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Rolls Royce Want To Be Liked Too.

By Tim Smith

Rolls Royce has attained FaceBook, erm, demi-godness or enlightenment or something, by having people click the ‘like’ button over 2 million times. That’s a lot of clicking, and, according to this yahoo answer would be the equivelant of 882 Joules of energy used. Or 1.19 hp, for all of us.

A picture of a letter. It's almost like a summing up of Facebook itself.

A picture of a letter. It’s almost like a summing up of Facebook itself.

Well, that’s all nice and good for them. The most I get is about ten or so when I do a ‘funny’ status about cats. Did you know that someone unfriended me the other day for doing what was clearly a witty and metafictional status about wit and metafiction? No? Well, you missed out because it was awe… Wait, where are you going?

Anyway, the only possible way to get all this into some kind of focus is to do a count down of the most liked high-end luxury saloon pages, like they do on Buzzfeed, ’cause thats what everybody loves.

5.

I REALLY want one of these.

I REALLY want one of these.

Bristol cars are just about the greatest things to stalk the Earth, but due to the iconoclastic nature of the company and the people that run it, there is no official Facebook page. Doesn’t stop them getting 1,266 likes though. That’s even more than Nathan Green gets when he posts something he’s written. And, no, I’m not even jel. Not even a little bit.

4.

Simon Cowell not pictured

Simon Cowell not pictured.

Maybach never really took off. The cars looked too much like bigger, more expensive S-Classes, and douche-bags like Simon Cowell bought them. In fact, he may have been one of the only people to have bought one. They get 83,879 likes. Which is almost as many women as Nathan Green is friends with.

3.

I think, on balance, my favourite name for a car, The Flying Spur.

I think, this, on balance, is my favourite name for a car, The Flying Spur.

Now we’re getting into the big leagues. Bentley have (at the time of writing) 1,549,032 likes. That’s almost as many crap’s I give about the fact that whenever I write anything I get about three views.

2.

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Welly, well, here is that very subject of this piece (not my massive jealousy over Nathan Greens’s popularity). and if you close your eyes you could imagine it rolling around like a teenage boy in its own self help. It’s Rolls Royce, with, at the time of writing, 2,120,254 likes. That’s almost as many comments from women that Nathan Green gets when he posts a status.

1.

Another press picture that Word Press refused to crop.

Another press picture that Word Press refused to crop.

I know, I know, It’s a bit of a stretch including Aston Martin, but they do make that rather lovely DB9 saloon, the Rapide. So I’ve gone and stuck em’ in here. They get a huuuuuge 4.2 million likes. Which, bitterness and ‘joking aside is almost as many pints as I’m going to buy Nathan Green next time I see him because yesterday, his piece about VTEC almost broke a thousand hits. Yes it did.

Nathan Green, and all those who read and share him, we love you.

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