Tag Archives: Kia

Hyundai ‘Accidently’ Remake Freaky Friday

By Tim Smith

A few years ago anything Hyundai or Kia made was a great opportunity to get the ol’ pen/sword out and write a character assassination (blimey, didn’t know there were so many s’ in there) against an inanimate object. Doing this sort of thing is always fun as Anton Ego will attest. Things have changed, though, Kia and Hyundai have come a loooong way. As a Hyundai ix35 drove past me the other day, I thought to myself:

‘…press the button, oh nice, double yellows and bad parking I’ve always wanted a 635i but their just too, remember that girl, she had polkadots, and pizza, yeah that place was rubbish, liked the manager though, cross, oop, gotta run, do these trainers make me bounce, oh and what are those things called? look at the back always look like a geek doing this, ix35, actually alright…’

Or something along those lines.

Either way, far from actually highlighting this change around, Hyundai appears to have gone with what appears to be a jaunty look on mental illness, wait, let’s be kind….

A sixty-year-old in a yellow dress and a young woman's body

A sixty-year-old in a yellow dress and a young woman’s body

Hyundai appear to have remade Freaky Friday, except this time instead of a mother-daughter swap the first advert supposes what would happen if you put a sixty-year-old lech inside of a young woman’s body (clue, he/she does actually leave the house).

The second proposes a swap between a socially awkward teenaged boy and his possibly bullying father (which may or may not be why the boy/dad is so socially awkward).

Thoughts? Comment below.

 

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It’s What Ron Dennis Would’ve Wanted.

The McLaren Position One looks great. iPhone’s are great. Why not join the two?

For reasons only known to science, someone, somewhere within McLaren has made an app that we can all download.

So, First things first, download the app. Once done and started up it kindly asks you to print a picture for the app to recognise.

With that done I tried it out. Holy Moly, Mother of Cheese, this is cool. I promptly took the clothes off of the million pound made up car  that wasn’t actually sat on top of my printer.

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By moving the phone closer you can peer at the parts of the car like they are actually there. I was impressed. See those little white circles? They give tech info on the car, like what kind of tyres it has and what the engine does and stuff.

Then I thought ‘What Scandalous Behaviour! I should put all of the cars clothes back on this instant!’ So I did:

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Then I was all like, ‘I should go on a walk and have the Position One celebrate all the things that Ron Dennis would want’.

First up was seeing a ten-year-old Renault Clio. Now, Renault have been doing Formula One on ol’ Ronny for some time, now. They power the Red Bull cars that keep making McLaren look a little on the bad side. So I placed the Position One on the Clio’s bonnet and declared it in the name of Ron Dennis. McLaren, One, ten-year-old Renault Clio, Nil.

ImageI then walked a little bit up the street and saw a badly parked Kia Carens. ‘I bet Ron doesn’t like a badly parked Kia Carens’, I thought. So I parked the McLaren position One on the back of the offending Kia. ‘Owned!’ I thought, as I quietly fist pumped the air in my imagination.

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Walking a bit further on I passed a Mercedes E63 AMG. ‘I’ll bet Ron hates Mercedes, now that they’re doing some Formula One on him’, I thought. ‘I know, I’ll get one over those buggers by putting a McLaren Position One on the bonnet.’

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Anyway, after all that faffing around sticking pieces of paper on peoples cars then running away, I thought I should go and get a coffee. I bet Ron Dennis likes coffee, so I made the McLaren Position One naked in the coffee shop.

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The coffee was really great. After that I thought I should go and declare a book in the name of Ron Dennis. Popping next door to the local library, what should present itself, but a fresh copy of  No Angel: The Secret Life Of Bernie Ecclestone by Tom Bower. ‘The McLaren Position One should bloody-well drive all over this’, I thought. So it bloody-well did.

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Next I wondered what Ron Dennis would like to eat. I realised almost instantly that what he probably doesn’t like is noodles. ‘I bet he hates those little errant strings of Chinese egg based products’, I successfully thought to myself. Gathering all of my by-proxy hate I marched into the local Co-op and prompty drove the Position One all over some reasonably priced dried noodles.

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Doing this, I felt my work was almost done, but then I remembered that living near the world’s first suspension bridge constructed by a bloke in the 19th century and hailed by nationalists the country over as something we should all feel proud of was something Ron Dennis would probably like. Braving the windy conditions I made the McLaren Position One’s presence not felt on this engineering classic.

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I felt restless, though. How can I truly honour Ron’s achievements and push for the perfection he would want? ‘I know’, I thought. ‘I’ll get a massive shot of the whole bridge, it’s what Ron Dennis would want.’

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I felt like my work was done, and began the long walk home, when I suddenly spotted a Porsche. ‘Those buggers are going to make a mid-engined MP4 rival soon’, I thought. ‘I’d better get some ownage in before it’s too late.’

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Now my work is surely complete. It is what Ron dennis would have wanted.

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