Tag Archives: Ford

Ford Opens The Order Book For A RHD Mustang. Oh, And Sienna Miller Has A Shower.

By Tim Smith

Ford will offer the first 500 Mustangs to be sold in Europe during a football game*. 150 of those will be offered in RHD, and for us, here on this rainy archipelago, this is a good thing.

Both fastback and convertible versions will be offered up for order with either I4 Ecoboost (2.3 litres, 309ps, 407Nm) or V8 (5.0 litres, 426ps, 529Nm) motors.

Ford says that the RHD Mustang will be made in the UK when it goes up for sale in 2015.

Steering wheel orientation not pictured.

Steering wheel orientation not pictured.

Now that’s all well and good, but mainly, I’ve liked the web page they direct you too. First (actually third but details, details…), there’s a timer. Second you notice that as you scroll down there is a neat shutter effect. Oooo, ahhhh…

Then, as if by web-based elastic trickery there’s Sienna Miller. It looks like she’s just had a shower, ’cause her hair is all slicked back, which is lucky, ’cause all she does is leave dirty great big paw prints all over the Mustang as she has a bloody good look ’round. She also kicks the Mustang. I have no idea why, but she won’t be getting in on any of those Autotrader ads that say ‘NO TYRE KICKERS’, I can tell you.

Miller McGrubbyhands

Sienna Miller McGrubbyhands in ‘I still can’t work the damn crop tool properly’ picture.


Then, she gets right inside of the Mustang, feels up the steering wheel and pretends to do some driving. Next, after feeling up more of the cabin she appears outside again and clicks her fingers. As if by magic nothing happens.

Sienna appears a little annoyed by this so she approaches the front of the Mustang and effectively mounts its bonnet in a mating position as old as time itself. To finish, she tells us she loves an American accent. Which I do too. So that’s Sienna Miller/Tim Smith: 1. World: Nil.

Sienna Miller mounting a Mustang. Yep, that’s happened,

We’re also invited to watch a behind the scenes making of video. Which I didn’t.

Keep scrolling and you get some nice pictures of the Mustang, which actually, is quite good, as it’s a handsome thing.

Keep going, though, skip the hipster-esque video (trust me, you’ve got better things to do with your time) and we finally get to my favourite bit, a good ol’ fashioned info-graphic showing the Mustang at the movies.

The last two slides are a video of the last 5o years of Mustang (cool) and some more graphicy things giving you all facts about the Mustang and stuff (which is also cool).

Overall I liked the Mustang’s European website. But, and I never thought I’d say this as a hetrosexual male, less Sienna Miller humping, please.


* I honestly cannot be bothered to explain this.



Leave a comment

Filed under Recycled PR

Monday Long Termer, Vauxhall Corsa 1.3 Life: 07/04/14′

By Nathan Green

(Editor’s note: I love Nathan Green, you love Nathan Green. We all love Nathan Green. Unfortunately, today he sent me a piece that compares women to cars. Now, Nathan is a kind and thoughtful human being who respects women as equals. I also believe him to be comfortable with his sexuality.

Anyway’s for shits and gigs I decided it would be better if the piece (‘piece’, heh, heh) compared men to cars. In line with this I’ve changed any mention of women  to men. Mainly because it would make me laugh. But also, ’cause it makes me laugh. Oh, and *it is* odd comparing living breathing, creative, highly developed and often sidelined ‘groups’ to inanimate objects that you can buy with money.) 

Men, if I may, I would like to draw some comparisons. I promise these will be mostly positive and reflect only my own opinions. I promise not to be derogatory, sexist or misanderistic. Probably.

Why do I feel apprehensive about this? Everyone knows that cars are almost always named after men so there is already an existing link. Furthermore, I shouldn’t really be scared of offending anyone because, let’s be honest, there are plenty of less desirable objects to be compared to than a handsome modern Ferrari, a vintage classic Mercedes or even a filthy dirty Vauxhall Corsa.

I, myself have been compared to a variety of things that are much less complimentary. I won’t give examples, I’m sure you won’t have to try too hard to fill in the blanks.

Anyway, as many of you know, up until about 6 months ago, I was a car sales executive, which is an over embellished way of saying I sold cars. During this time, I was in a committed, long-term relationship. In fact, weirdly, my career in car sales started and ended at the same time as my relationship.

As a car salesman, I drove lots of different cars, each with their own personality and individual aesthetic qualities. However, I only had one lady in my life. Nowadays, I only have one car, my darling ‘Long Termer’ Corsa Life and I am free to date whomever I choose. As long as they reciprocate my interest, of course.

Whilst spending time with my friend Natalie, last week, we looked back through my iCloud Photo Stream at some of the cars I drove during the two years I spent selling them. It made me think about how each one of them made me feel, what strengths and weaknesses they showed during my time with them and, most importantly, the best experiences I had when driving them – experiences I can now recall as cherished memories. Let me introduce you to some of my past conquests:

My first sales position was at a Ford dealership in Redditch where I was given a silver Focus Zetec TDCi as a demonstrator. It was a great car. The car that really sticks in my mind, however, from that time was a brand new, bright orange Focus ST that I was lucky enough to drive before it was available to the general public.

A bright orange essex person.

A bright orange essex person.

The ST is the hottest of the new generation Focus and, I hate to be so cliché in my comparison, but it’s a stereotypical Essex boy – overdone exterior accentuation, tight bodywork, bulging bumpers and a large mouth. It looks like fun and it really is. It also has many impressive features, both inside and out. It certainly got lots of attention when I drove it around town.

I took this particular car out only a couple of times but it made more of an impression on me than my daily driver Focus did during the four months I used it. I suppose one could compare my experience with the ST to a few short moments of passion and excitement. I could easily lose myself behind the wheel, and quite possibly my drivers licence. Ultimately it was unsustainable. I’d love to drive an ST again, I just wouldn’t buy one.

Another brief fling I can boast about was with a Vauxhall Corsa VXR, again the hottest derivative of its model type. It was short, good looking, well-proportioned and makes all the right noises (Ed: oh you shouldn’t have.. wait we’re talking about me, right?). It was also completely bonkers. (Yep, talking about me.)

A short handful...

A short handful…

It was probably no faster than the Focus ST but, due to a significant weight deficit, it definitely felt faster, maybe even lunatic quick.

Driving the Corsa VXR quickly through wet country lanes lined by trees and peppered with potholes was comparable to jumping on the back of an angry masculinist after cracking a joke about woman being people too- you’d better hold on tight because if you lose control, he’ll kick your arse!

I remember I used to put the back seats down just to hear more from the sporty exhaust, the sound waves bellowed and amplified in the boot space filling the cabin with a beautiful high pitch resonance, particularly when the turbo came on song.

While the VXR was thoroughly enjoyable to drive, it was actually rather exhausting because it was hard to drive sensibly and driving it with spirit required total focus and a fair bit of effort.

Unfortunately for me, it was also too expensive to run on a long term basis. I guess it was comparable to a very exciting but very high-maintenance man who would only make sense as a weekend luxury. You simply wouldn’t have enough energy or money to keep him completely happy seven days a week.

Another favourite is my friend Matt’s 2007 Honda Civic Type-R which I drove back from Redditch and delivered to him in Stroud. Matt is fully aware that drove it hard because, well, I told him.

A two-timing red-head. In a car lot.

A two-timing red-head. In a car lot.


VTEC engines are built to be thrashed, it would have been rude not to oblige. I had merely a quick fling with his Japanese hunk before passing it on to him for something more long term. I am happy to report they are still very much in love.

And so, this brings me on to my trusty Long Termer, the 2007 Vauxhall Corsa Life. As an object, it is not beautiful – it was not styled to impress the eye or indeed excite any of our sensory receptors. It was not designed nor engineered to make your palms sweat with its cornering abilities or provoke a tingling sensation in your loins when accelerating from a standstill.

Plain Joe

Plain Joe.

It was created to be consistently dependable, uneventfully reliable, boringly efficient and pound stretchily frugal. And it is. It is also filthy dirty most of the time.

Despite the seemingly negative slant on this summary of the Corsa, I am actually content driving it every day. It does exactly what I need it to do and does so to the best of its limited abilities. As a mode of transport it is absolutely fine, however if I had a boyfriend with the same attributes I would not be so content, apart from the filthy dirty bit. Perhaps.

Cars and men – comparable in some ways, but luckily, completely different in almost all others.

Weekly Mileage- 324

Fuel Cost: £30

Repair cost: £0

Repair costs (2014)- £849

Leave a comment

Filed under Monday Long Termer

Silverstone Auction’s First Restoration Show Sale Will Take Your Money And Your Heart

By Tim Smith

I’ve got a double shift to do today, so I’m not going to be able to dedicate the time I’d like to today’s post, but, suffice to say, get a bit of your time together and check out the lot list for Silverstone Auctions’ first Restoration Show Sale.

The auction itself goes down next Saturday the 12th of April (2014 if you’re reading this in the future, in which case, are we all speaking Russian, now?) and my goodness, there’s some good stuff going. Here’re my three favourites:




All of that is an Allard P1. It look’s great. Performance isn’t so great, but then this is a car from 1951. The original engine is a Ford ‘Flathead’ V8. A large proportion of the bits that make Allards go and stop are Ford sourced, so the actual restoration of making the thing move shouldn’t (famous last words etc…) be too hard.

I reckon, with money being not a thing, get that body looking brilliant, find some modern running gear and drive around looking, not only deeply cool, but also, as the mood takes you, perhaps go hunting M5’s and the like. Oh and the windscreen hinges at the top so you can hoist it up when the sun’s out. Yes it does.





The Renault Sport Spider does not come with a roof. Repeat The Renault Sport Spider Does Not Come With A Roof. It does, however come with a F7R engine with 150bhp that only needs to push around 970kg.

These things are only going to get more expensive and the auction estimate is already high at 14-18,000 Stirlings. If you’ve got the room to store it and the money to track it, do so now. This lovely little thing is surely a future unicorn car in the making.



This is a 1935 Morris flat-bed lorry. Spend loads of time on it, get it right, and do this. That is all.

What’s your favourite? Comment’s below.

Leave a comment

Filed under Recycled PR

Massive Ford Meet At Beaulieu MM Will Be All Kinds Of Trotting Excellent


By Tim Smith

Remember how a while back, just a couple of weeks ago, you know over there, back in time a bit, we said that The Beaulieu Motor Museum is bloody brilliant and has a massive calendar of events for all the family?



Well, here’s the story.

And here’s the first widely publicised event.

Loads of Fords.

Loads’a Fords.

Yep that’s a massive event for Ford fans, drivers and aficionados alike. Celebrating 50 years of the Ford Mustang, expect a strong showing of pony cars with their owners/keepers all trotting around, winnying with pride.

The coolest bit might not be the cars though, it’ll be the trade stands. Being up to my neck in car guts is the life for me. Yepidee, yep, yep.

This man is happy he bought a Ford Focus RS. You would be too.

This man is happy he bought a Ford Focus RS. You would be too.

The event will be held on the 4th of May and Ford owners are being encouraged to bring along their own cars to show off to the world. Entry fee’s are £10 for an ‘adult’ and £5 for a child.

Personally, if I had the means I’d prepare a rat-rod style Scorpio. Now, *that* would be awesome.

Leave a comment

Filed under Recycled PR

Here’s Some Photo’s Of A Focus I Rented.




By Tim Smith



With no car for the moment, I’m currently going through rental cars like a hot light-sabre through Obi-Wan (too soon?). I thought, that as part of starting this little blog, with an aim to making it a big blog in the future, I should try and do some reviews of cars and stuff. You know like all the other alleged grown-ups in the motoring-press.

Well, try as I might to write a straight-faced piece, I  keep coming up against something, that you, the first regular readers of this green shoot of a future empire will get to see change over time.

I simply don’t have the experience to say one car is better or worse than all of its key rivals. I know the Focus 1.6 TDCI is better (though less frugal) than the Honda Civic 1.6  i-DTEC in many key ways but I can’t say whether it’s better than a Golf or an Astra. To cut all of this tedium short, when we start doing road-tests, we’re gonna do them properly. In the mean-time

I’m gonna get Tim Hamilton to take pictures of the stuff we drive.

He’s excellent, you’ll like him.











Leave a comment

Filed under Thursday Review


You know how your Focus, or that nice person’s Focus from down the street doesn’t have a V8 or RWD? But why, you scream with existential angst. Why have they done this to me? I can have noodles in a pot and cold beer and free porn on my computer, smartphone or tablet, we are the apex predator on this planet, why shouldn’t I have a Ford Focus with RWD and a V8?

Well now you can’t. But you can watch a Ford Focus, or more accurately a space frame chassis with Focus panels bolted on doing some racing.


But will it be profitable? I mean, all’s well and good being all exciting and throwing cars that have no resemblance to anything I can buy, even though it looks like something I can buy, ’round a track. But Can I Turn A Profit?

Well, Sir, yes you can.

“We want to bring the focus back on serious affordable racing,” says (Mark) Woolley. “We can offer a readymade national series with rules, regulations, commercial rights assistance, prize funds, structure and homologated cars with everything but the bodyshell complete – it just requires buy-in from teams and franchise owners who have identified this is a viable way of making money from motorsport. Global Touring Cars does not aim to compete with any existing Touring Car series, but to create a new niche in the market. This is through the combination of the design of the GTC car and our desire to create a network of GTC franchises.”


You know the actual what? I think this is cool.


Surely the whole deal with doing touring car championships is that they actually resemble an actual model. Race on Sunday sell on Monday? What do you think?

Leave a comment

Filed under Recycled PR

Step Right Up For Procrastination Perfection

Bored? Do you want to contemplate whether a Ford Probe can really be called a classic? Want to waste time imagining what it would be like to own an actual classic car, i.e. what its like to wait for the AA/RAC for the forth time in a week? Well come on down, because Anglia Car Auctions has the, erm, auction for you.

Honestly, many of these are Very tempting. Here’s some of the highlights:

This Alfa Romeo 1300 GT Junior is finished in brown. But who cares? Just look at it:




Bristols. Everyone loves Bristols. This ‘restoration project’ will punch you strait in the wallet. At the moment it looks like one of those dragon skulls from GOT. I’m happy with that:


I have a soft spot for these. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t actually know and I’ve never driven one, but COSWORTH. I think I’ve made my case clear:


I’m not sure I’d want to put the product of my loins anywhere near this little monster, but my goodness, is it cool? It is cool:





David Jason? David Jason. This rather tidy, previously owned by Frost/Del-boy himself, XJS probably smells of English Breakfast farts. David Jason:




If I could find some way of justifying buying something like this, I would. If I could find some way of turning this into an oversized desk ornament, I would:



I submit to you, that to truly be a car entusiast of note, you should own at least one LTI Taxi at some point. Here’s your chance:

ImageFinally, remember when Peugeot’s were pretty?




There is loads of other stuff to look at, day-dream about. Follow the link at the top of this post for procrastination perfection. Or simply click here. The choice is yours.

Leave a comment

20/01/2014 · 17:19